Anger management

My awesome friend, Lisa (owner of Fayetteville Pilates and Barre), asked me the other day why I bake and cook so much. Besides the obvious - in a British accent - "Oh, darling, don't you know I am a single, 20-something girl who lives by herself? It makes sense!" I responded that I just have a lot of time. Which- don't get me wrong. I am taking like a ridiculously light load of classes for my last semester. 

I don't know my exact reasoning for how much baking/cooking I have done in the last months.  But, I have a pretty good guess.  I think it is how I have been able to handle the changes in my life. I think it is what I do when I get upset about Sammy. (wow....I haven't said that in a while) 

Being in the kitchen...it distracts me. It leads me to prayer. A lot. I find myself browning some meat, or dicing and onion and breaking into song and prayer. Some of that may just be that I do, once again, live alone and can sing and run around naked if I want.  Baking makes me feel like I can be domestic. Which-if you know me- isn't something I necessarily dreamed about as a child. Being in my 5x7 kitchen (okay, I'm really bad with measurements but I do know that is a picture frame size. Which, yes, is how small my kitchen is) is an outlet. Being in my kitchen is an outlet for my anger. Well...that only took me half a page to get out the truth. I've been to confession a lot lately, #catholicgirlproblems, because I am just plain ol' mad sometimes. Have you seen "Diary of a Mad Black Woman?" The main character says my feelings perfectly.  "I'm not bitter. I'm mad as hell."  Wait, rephrase.  I was bitter. Then I was mad. Now, I just am disappointed.  And hurt. (I get nauseated- literally today I had to sit down- when I see a picture on facebook of my ex and his girlfriend.) Oh, hell. I'm still mad. But, I think I take that anger out on my cutting board. On my cast iron skillet. I brown those onions to the best of my ability. I make sure the noodles are cooked "al dente." I have made more peanut butter oatmeal chocolate chip cookies in the last month than you would think possible. 

After my parents got divorced, I went to counseling. Duh, everyone and their mom goes to counseling- I highly recommend it (as in I know what marriage counselor I will use one day. NO, not you, Dr. Phil.) But, apparently at the young age of 5, I had a lot of anger. At this point, if you are still reading, you're thinking "I didn't need to know all of this about you, homegirl.  Like, I would scratch walls and yell kind of anger problems.  I wasn't necessarily violent. So, I colored pictures of how I felt. And now my sweet, sweet mother has these chicken scratch drawings framed. So, yes. Having an outlet for my emotions is a good thing. 

Let's get some things clear: I do not have anger management problems. Instead, I cook. I didn't say I eat a hell of a lot of the food I make, but I try to not let it go to waste.  I bake. I make bran muffins. Whatever I can find....so that is all for now.  

Pilates, Skyping, Kayaking, Shopping

Last Thursday night, I got to skype my family! It was so nice to see my sweet mama and sister.

She even let me take a picture of her...a rare occassion! Then I asked my grandparents if they would come on camera, too!

Grandpa Tom tried to get low enough for the camera, and consequently fell on Grandma Lois.Married 62 years and they still laugh at each other. My cousin Stuart was in town from Houston, TX. so I got to see my Aunt Vicki, Uncle Gary and my Aunt Susan.

My family has a really good system of communicating. We communicate pretty well...and I think a lot of that has to do with writing. My Dad and Mom both always write me letters at school and now, they are writing me letters here in D.C.! These are just the letters from my first week in the nations Capitol.


On Friday my office went to help set up the Bike MS in Virginia. It was ridiculously hot! I knew I was from Oklahoma, though, when I started talking about the chigger bites I was getting from being out in the grass. "What's a chigger bite? Where are they?" said one of the chapter workers. That's when I had to explain that you won't actually see the aftermath of a chigger bite until you get home and can't stop itching!

Friday night, Sammy, Randy, John and I went to Adams Morgan. It was fun and I think the guys had a really great time. We ate at this place called giant pizza, where you get literally a giant pizza for $5. It was packed. But, the best part about Friday night was that Randy and John wore the exact. same. outfit. I couldn't get them to pose for a picture, so I had to take an action shot in the metro.

Blue button down polo, khaki shorts with a chocolate brown belt, and sperrys. Classic.



This weekend Sammy and I went kayaking. I was exhausted afterwards and slept from about 2 p.m. until 6 p.m. It wasn't even sunny! I'm a wimp... Sundayt Anna Paige and I went to St. Peters Church right behind the Capitol. It was awesome...there were families all over.

Got my father's day cards and presents! Woohoo! I am getting out of my procrastination mode...

Have a great week!