The "PLUS 1" dilemma

I think every single girl out there knows what I am talking about...If you don't you're lying to yourself.  I just received my first of many wedding invites for the spring.  First words out of my mouth: woof. Second words: shit. (Sorry, Mom.)****side note: I gave up cursing for lent. Then I realized that cursing actually relieved my stress. So, I gave up gossipping.  That ain't easy, folks. Not just talking about who did what, or any OMG news, but literally just shooting the breeze about other people.****back to the problem at hand. Plus one. I need someone who can hold their own conversation, who can make small talk with people he just met, and who won't be a drunken fool if the wedding has an open bar.  The latter is something from a bad movie.  But seriously....don't they hire out these kind of people?  Yes, yes they do.  

If only Dermot Mulroney was a real life man living in Fayetteville OR any of the surrounding areas....I would give anything for Debra Messing's collar bone structure, too.  Let's be honest: I'd take either.  If you haven't seen this movie...well you need to, STAT! 

I have about the same dilemma as Debra Messing...I need a date because I am a bridesmaid in a wedding and don't want someone who is going to need me to be by his side every second. Because, let's be honest, that ain't happening.  No Catholic weddings in the near future, so these will be easy 15- 20 minute services.  Thus, super easy.  

Well...the plus one search is on. Send all possibilites my way. 

Will's and Kate

I have some of the absolute weirrrrdest dreams. I have this reoccurring dream of falling from my ceiling, other times I'm marrying a movie star. Okay, I usually am at the altar with the post man but they're pretty much the same. Last night I dreamt that Kate Middleton and I, Edith Channing Barker, were BFF's. As in, she asked me to be her bridesmaid. I was wearing white; which I know sounds weird seeing as how she was the bride and all. But! In my defense there were a ton of other bridesmaids...BUT in my dream, I felt as though she was the closest to meeee.  Like Pippa wasn't even in this dream. Ya, I won the MOH battle.  Austin, my bfffff from high school, junior prom date and homecoming court escort, was also one Will's groomsmen. And we were running to the chapel.  Which also seems odd seeing as how you know the royal wedding was on a serious schedule.  I bet Kate knew I was usually late and told me an earlier time than usual just so I would be super early.  I LOVE LOVE LOVEDDDD the royal wedding. I was on a round of IV steroids so this was a super great time for Will and Kate to get hitched seeing as how I had a port tied to my wrist.  Tied isn't the right word...more like placed into my vein....okay I'm getting off track. Here are some pictures of pictures of the royal wedding on E! the morning of the big day! 

I learned how to give myself the roids! Thanks, MS.
 But mostly, thanks Wills and Kate for getting married in perfect tune with my disease.
 I'm serious. But slightly sarcastic. 

Look at all these colors and buttons I got, yo!
 It's like I'm a king.
 Wait....

Kate's Mum and bro. Whatever happened to him? He was a good lookin' Middleton. As if there is bad looking Middleton? Seriously- this family must only breed beautiful people.

Love that hat, Cam.

Queen.

Dude, that's a lot of people. 

I remember this moment...she got out of hotel and into the car.
The dress, oh this dress!
I need a life. 

Pippa. Could you not be so pretty?

Seriously.

Wait...I'm about to marry an almost bald man who is in line for king?
What? 

Aw...yes. 

Love.

I'm a rockstar. 

Sweeeeeet shot.

Harry...the red headed hot brother. 

The end.